The more significant the expectations, the more significant the disappointment.Įvery day, sometimes every hour, we are consciously and unconsciously setting expectations of ourselves and the people in our lives-especially those closest to us.
Places We Go When Things Don ’t Go as Plannedĭisappointment is unmet expectations. If we don’t want this constant automatic ranking to negatively shape our lives, our relationships, and our future, we need to stay aware enough to know when it’s happening and what emotions it’s driving. The good news is that we get to choose how we’re going to let it affect us. The comparison mandate becomes this crushing paradox of “Fit in and stand out!” It’s not be yourself and respect others for being authentic, it’s “Fit in, but win.” When we compare, we want to be the best or have the best of our group. When we compare ourselves with others, we are ranking around a specific collection of “alike things.” We may compare things like how we parent with families who have totally different values or traditions from ours, but the comparisons that get us really riled up are the ones we make with the folks living next door. Vulnerability is not weakness it’s our greatest measure of courage.Ĭomparison says, “Be like everyone else, but better.”Īt first it might seem that conforming and competing are mutually exclusive, but they’re not. Vulnerability is not oversharing, it’s sharing with people who have earned the right to hear our stories and our experiences. It also takes discipline and self-awareness to understand what to share and with whom. In a world where perfectionism, pleasing, and proving are used as armor to protect our egos and our feelings, it takes a lot of courage to show up and be all in when we can’t control the outcome. Vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
Kindle | Hardcover | Audiobook Places We Go When Things Are Uncertain or Too Much
0 kommentar(er)
